July 29, 2011
The great truth of ‘Seinfeld’
In case you missed it, “Seinfeld” was one of the most popular shows on television for the better part of the 1990s, and arguably the best comedy ever televised.
I’m not a “Seinfeld” geek or anything, but I did watch it regularly. (Mainly because I coveted Julia Louis-Dreyfus‘ hair, especially in the last couple of seasons. Best hair on the planet.) Along with “Friends” and “ER,” it was part of our “Must See TV” Thursday night lineup for a long time.
So yes, America loved “Seinfeld.” Buy WHY? As the clip above self-references, it was a show about … nothing. Four friends trying to make their way through the vagaries of jobs, family and relationships in New York City. There were rarely any story arcs and postively no character development. In fact, one of the rules for the writers was “no hugging, no learning.”
Most of the situations in this unorthodox situation comedy stemmed from social pressures and the characters’ weaknesses in dealing with them. Take the scene here:
The whole conflict could have been avoided if Jerry had just had the courage to admit that he had forgotten his date’s name. But that would have meant taking a very uncomfortable step. “Seinfeld” characters would usually do ANYTHING to avoid feeling awkward, including lie, steal, cover up mistakes, pretend to understand, skip out on commitments … even stand idly by while someone gets assaulted. Having no integrity made for comedy gold.
Where am I going with this? HA – you’re WRONG! I’m NOT going to turn it into a motivational lecture on how we should all grow some cajones, step outside our comfort zone and do the right thing! Bah!
Nope, this post is about MY world and how there are so many times I’m tempted to put myself into a Seinfeldesque situation, but I don’t, because unlike George, Elaine, Kramer and Jerry, I have a moral conscience and I’m deathly afraid of what would happen if I caved to my baser instincts.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I cringe at an atrocious spelling on someone’s Facebook post, or laugh out loud at a ridiculously written passage in some earnest wannabe writer’s self-published pile of dung, or stifle a snort at some snippet of conversation I happen to overhear that just makes me marvel at the speaker’s ability to even stay alive given their apparent intellectual skills.
I’m SO tempted to post these offenses as my FB status or circulate them in my blog, because I know most of my friends would get as much entertainment out of them as I do.
But if I did that, I’d be Jerry when he made the pony remark:
And like it or not, I’m sort of a public figure in my town. I’ve been the editor of our newspaper‘s arts & entertainment magazine for going on eight years, and my photo runs with a little editorial column I write every week. Because I was taught that my behavior reflects on my employer, I’m very careful not to be offensive or controversial.
The result is that for now, I’m sort of a bland, white-bread, pleasant but boring figure. Will that change some day when my face doesn’t run in the paper every week? We’ll see.
Where do YOU fall on the integrity scale? Do you always do the right thing, no matter what – or are you a weasel on the scale of George Costanza? (furtively glancing around) What’s it like?
July 27, 2011
Coffee junkies – what are you actually addicted to?
I work in a medium-sized office with around 40 other people. It’s one big room set up in a rat maze of cubicles, so we can all hear most of the conversations going on, at least in the departments nearest to us.
Here’s a lot of what drifts over to me: “I gotta get some coffee.” “Mmm, I love my latte!” “Grrr. I haven’t had my coffee yet.” “Hi, local coffee house? I’d like to order three large mochas.”
I hate to break it to you, but coffee is not one of the elements essential for human life!*
When did we as a society get addicted to coffee? The best story I’ve heard attributes the origin of the drink to a sheik’s disciple named Omar in the Middle Ages, who was known for his ability to cure the sick through prayer. He was once exiled from his home of Mocha (har har) to a desert cave near Ousab. Starving, Omar chewed berries from nearby shrubbery, but found them to be bitter. He tried roasting the berries (or beans) to improve the flavor, but they became hard. He then tried boiling them to soften the bean, which resulted in a fragrant brown liquid. Upon drinking the liquid, Omar was revitalized and sustained for days. As stories of this “miracle drug” reached Mocha, Omar was asked to return and was made a saint. (Yes, it’s from Wikipedia. Notice I said “story.”)
We all know what gives coffee its “buzz” factor – caffeine. According to MyAddiction.com, caffeine is reported to be the most commonly consumed psychoactive substance on earth and 90 percent of Americans report using caffeine on a daily basis.
From NaturalNews.com:
When you consume caffeine, the drug begins its effects by initiating uncontrolled neuron firing in your brain, according to Stephen Cherniske in his book Caffeine Blues. This excess neuron activity triggers your pituitary gland to secrete a hormone that tells your adrenal glands to produce adrenalin.
Adrenalin is what gives athletes that winning burst of energy and Good Samaritans the ability to rescue people by lifting cars. Adrenalin is also the source of our “fight-or-flight” response, which enabled our prehistoric ancestors to escape from saber-toothed tigers and other predators. By stimulating your adrenal glands to produce adrenalin, caffeine puts your body in this “fight-or-flight” state, which is useless while you’re just sitting at your desk. When this adrenal high wears off later, you feel the drop in terms of fatigue, irritability, headache or confusion.
… For some people, this cycle of low energy followed by an infusion of caffeine continues the entire day –leaving them feeling exhausted and unable to focus by 3 p.m. because they are drained from the ups and downs in energy their body endured throughout the day.
It’s been proven that caffeine is mildly addictive. But is the buzz truly what drags us down the hall to the break room for cup after cup after cup? Or is it something else we’re jonesing for? Like the sweet taste that comes from adding sugar or (shudder) artificial sweeteners? Something warm in our gullet? Socialization? Or even something to do with our hands? You might pooh-pooh some of these factors, but guess what? Our subconscious rules us more than we’ll ever know – or admit.
So how do you get off the caffeine roller coaster? The obvious response is to switch to decaf. You still get the flavor and the coffee breaks, but not the highs and lows. Still, why are you putting something into your body that isn’t helping you?
Consider this. For the price you would pay for a Frappucino at Starbucks, you could get a 12-ounce drink that would give you the same infusion of energy as a strong coffee drink, without the jitters. It would fill you up enough to be your morning meal and give you 100% or more of your daily needs for six vitamins and minerals – plus proteins, amino acids, antioxidants, phytonutrients, adaptogens, prebiotics and digestive enzymes. And the best part? It tastes just like a frickin’ Frappucino!
Why on earth would anyone buy a Starbucks drink that they knew was not good for them, rather than choosing this shake that’s honestly the healthiest single thing they could ingest? The label? If being seen with a Starbucks cup in your hand is that important to you, you’ve got bigger problems than your caffeine levels.
July 25, 2011
Luv my nu shooz (not the 80s band)
Even though yes, I am a child of the 80s, and Nu Shooz was from Portland (and singer Valerie Day occasionally performs where I now live), sorry – this post is not about them.
It’s about my exclusively Turbo shooz!
Understand: I’m not a typical shoe-crazy girlie girl. I think I own 11 pairs of shoes, but I only wear three pairs almost exclusively on a day-to-day basis – my tennies (Skechers, I think), my brown leather chunky oxfords and my Nike sandals, which I’ve owned since at least 2004 (possibly longer) and over which I will cry when they someday fall apart. And which, of course, they don’t make anymore.
I don’t treat my shoes well. They live in a heap on my closet floor. They get banged up a lot because, well, I’m a klutz. I’ll walk through mud and never clean it off. Ergo, I won’t let myself spend a lot of money on shoes because I tend to trash them.
But I decided I had to have new shoes for teaching Turbo Kick. And I had to keep them nice. Powder Blue Productions (which produces the Turbo Kick program) encourages their instructors to look good, and I figured my current workout shoes were the rattiest part of my ensemble.
So I went to the Nike Store in Seaside and got these: Nike Free XT Quick Fits. They’re quite low-profile for me – I’m used to a more padded running shoe. But then, I never asked for a specialized athletic shoe before.
The first time I put them on was at my Turbo Kick training. After about 5 hours of bouncing, hopping, pivoting and jumping, the inner edges of the opening (what’s that part called? The foothole?) were digging into my ankles and I had to change back into the ratty Skechers. But I’ve worn them for my home workouts ever since then, and they’re doing fine, just fine.
I vowed to keep them pristine and only put them on my feet for class, never wear them outdoors. This I have been able to do except for the few moments each morning when I have to let my dog out, and then bring him back in. We keep a kitchen towel by the back door to clean the mud off his feet when he comes in, and it’s quite comical to watch the dance we do as he prances around in his excitement and I try to keep the pure white Nikes out of his way.
Remember when you were a kid and you got new sneakers? Didn’t you feel like you could run faster and jump higher in them? I won’t claim that the Nikes give me superpowers, but as light and trim as they are, they certainly aren’t slowing me down.
July 22, 2011
Snacks for desk jockeys
My job requires me to sit at a computer for 8 hours a day. And yet, I have to eat. Often.
For several years, my food at work consisted of a 2-pack of Grandma’s Cookies from the vending machine (preferably Fudge Chocolate Chip) and a Diet Coke. Mmm, I can still feel the sugar granules crunching between my molars.
But one day I realized that my belly jiggled when I walked down my basement stairs and there was quite a bit of me bulging over the top of my jeans. Oh, horrors! Something had to be done.
I won’t bore you with the tale of how I found Power 90, blah blah blah. That’s in another post if you want to search for it.
I started trying to cook healthier meals at home. But alas, I also had to change something about what I ate at work. I wanted foods I could snack on throughout the day and not have to spend a lot of time preparing in the morning.
The vending machine didn’t present any other options. Best I could do there was a tiny sleeve of salted peanuts. Decent for protein, icky for sodium and saturated fat.
I’m glad to report, though, that over the past couple of years I’ve found several types of munchies that go great with desk jobs – they’re fairly healthy, easy to pack and crumb-free. Here are some of my favorites:
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1. Raw or roasted almonds. I buy these in bulk at the grocery store and put two handfuls into a Ziploc sandwich bag to take to work with me. They’re almost like candy, they’re so sweet. The roasted ones are much crunchier, so keep that in mind if your office is a quiet one! | |
| 2. Yogurt raisins. Go easy on these – mainly because they do contain a lot of sugars and some saturated fat, but also because their sweet/tart goodness will have your mouth puckering after a handful! Eat too many too fast and your spit will become a syrupy goo that coats your throat, making it awkward to answer the phone. |  |
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3. Golden raisins. All-natural and low in fat and cholesterol, you just have to watch the sugar in these juicy tidbits. The only down side to eating them at your desk is that your fingers will get sticky. | |
| 4. Baby carrots and hummus. If you’re not in the mood for something sweet (what??), get the little individual servings of hummus at Costco and pack a baggie full of baby carrots. You’ll have to keep the hummus refrigerated, but as a dip for the ultra-nutritious veggies, it’s a savory and satisfying snack. |  |
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5. Dark chocolate covered almonds. OK, this is my weakness. But hey, dark chocolate is good for you, right? And almonds, well, see above. Sigh. It’s a good thing these are expensive ($9 or so a pound) or I’d be in trouble. | |
| And skip the Coke, diet or otherwise. Keep a big container of water at your side with a large drinking opening. I’ve found that the more freely the water flows, the more I drink! I quit using sports bottles or ones with spill-proof lids. (So if you’re a klutz like me – CLOSE the lid after you sip.) |  |
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Om nom nom!
July 20, 2011
“Mom, I’m bored.”
Summer vacation has hit its midpoint and the novelty of no school has worn WAY off. For whippersnappers whose perception of time is so much slower and drawn-out than ours, the days are starting to drag and the prospect of six more weeks with nothing to do is turning into a prison sentence instead of endless playtime.
If you’ve got mopey kids who automatically head for the sofa and pick up the remote but groan when they can’t find any new Spongebobs on, now’s your chance to perk up their day and get them moving! – and insidiously make them healthier at the same time.
What I like about giving kids a workout DVD is that it corrals the hyper ones and kickstarts the couch potatoes.
Tony & the Kids!
For kids ages 5 to 12 who don’t mind being silly, Tony & the Kids! is wacky and entertaining. It’s low on frills but high on fun, and a portion of the proceeds goes to Friends of El Faro, a group that gives support to the El Faro Orphanage in Tijuana, Mexico.
Shaun T's Fit Kids Club
If your young’uns are more savvy and would roll their eyes at Tony’s jokes, Shaun T’s Fit Kids Club is groovier and funkier. Two workouts teach cool modern dance moves that don’t feel like exercise. The music’s pretty rad and it comes with a wall poster too.
Let’s say your 9- to 12-year-old feels too grown-up to do “baby” DVDs. Shaun T’s Get Real is designed to give tweens a real workout in the style of Insanity, but not as intense, while teaching them good exercise and eating habits for life.
Get Real with Shaun T
Of course, you can always invite your kids to join you in your workouts too! Cardio X is a good one to try with kids; Turbo Jam is easy for munchkins to dive into, and so are some of the Power 90 Master Series DVDs. Just don’t expect them to keep up, or to stick around for long. Make sure they’re not trying to lift heavy weights, and above all, make sure they know that YOU’RE having FUN exercising!
July 19, 2011
Top 10 Ways You Know You’re Obsessed with P90X
1. On Thursday your child asks you what day it is and you say “Yoga.”
2. You go to a Mexican restaurant and order a “chaturanga.”
3. You say “BRING IT” in any motivational setting you find yourself in.
4. You tell yourself to “get sexy with it” when trying to wiggle into the frog position.
5. You put on your resume that you have a degree in “Plyometrics.”
6. After 30 minutes or more of sexual activity you have a recovery drink.
7. Before starting anything, you have to do at least 5 minutes of static/ ballistic stretching.
8. When Tony says “Superman,” your 2-year-old replies with “banana.”
9. You REALLY expect (and anticipate) Tony Horton to come to your house if you do 26 side tri-rises or MORE!
10. You tell your dog to “Namaste.”
THANK YOU to fellow Beachbody coach Christabel Romero for these!
July 15, 2011
Simon says – sumo burpees!
Remember the electronic game Simon?
I LOVED that game. Never owned one as a kid, though. Somebody brought one to a slumber party at my friend Kathy Wilson’s house once, and by the end of the night no one was talking to me because all I wanted to do was play Simon.
In case you don’t remember it, or don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, Simon was a “futuristic” version of Simon Says. (Hence the name.) It had 4 colored panels that each lit up and played a musical tone. Simon would start the game by playing one note. Then you would have to press the correct panel to repeat it. Then it would play the first note again, plus one more. You would press the correct panels in order to echo the sequence. Simon would keep adding one more tone to the end of the sequence each time, and you would have to remember the pattern and press the panels in order. The tempo would get faster as you went along, so a good game could start sounding like R2D2. If you pressed the wrong panel or waited too long to decide what came next, Simon gave you a raspberry-like buzzer and the game was over.
I liked Simon because it gave you two ways to learn and recall the pattern: visually (the color and position of the panels) and aurally (the musical tones). After the string of notes started getting too long to remember one by one, I would break them into musical phrases and remember them that way, or keep a kind of road map in my head of the path made by the lights. I’d like to say I was the queen of Simon, but monarchy only counts if you have subjects who revere the throne … and nobody else seemed to have much more than a passing interest in the game.
ANYWAY. I explain all of this because that captivation with musical memory is apparently fueling my new favorite pursuit: learning Turbo Kick! There’s a lot of similarity between learning the moves for a new round and recalling the beeps and boops in a game of Simon.
Each section of a Turbo Kick workout starts with some basic moves. You’ll do 32 counts of something; then 32 counts of something else. Then you go back and put them together, and then you learn a new 32 counts of a third move after that. And so on. They all get strung together until by the end, you feel like you could audition for a part in a Broadway show. (A show about fitness, of course.)
Here’s the trick, though: It’s not enough for me to just LEARN the moves in order. I have to be able to CUE them! That means telling the rest of the class what the next move is a few beats in advance. Think of it as a fast-paced game of Simon where you have to teach the pattern to the other players as you go!
The “Turbo” section is the most difficult because it doesn’t build in layers. You just keep doing it until you know it. But it’s short, and it goes fast. I broke it down into two sections of 4 moves each and gave each section a nickname: Squat-ski-jab-sumo, run-vee-knee-hop! There were two moves after that but I could remember those on their own.
I love the mental and physical challenge. When my brain can’t think of what comes next, often my feet remember what to do. The TK music helps, too – the phrases change with the moves. (Thank you, whoever chooses and edits the music!!!) And speaking of the music, I feel positively hip after working out to this dance/techno/rave stuff. Or hip hop. Or whack. Or whatever it is the kids are saying these days.
What gets your motor running? What’s the enjoyable challenge in your life? Post a comment here and then go have some fun with it.
July 11, 2011
Change – controlled change – is good.
How long has it been since you got excited about something new in your life?
If you’re like me, you let the comfort of routine build up on you until one day, you realize you’re in a rut. Once, when I had been working for multiple years at an office job I only intended to have for a summer, I caught myself wishing I would have an accident with a minor injury – like a broken arm – just for something different to happen!
When those thoughts pop up, you know it’s time to make a change.
A lot of us know what it feels like to fall in love. Talk about a rush! And how about buying or building a new house? Or shopping for a new car? All of a sudden you have a focus, a purpose, something to direct your energies toward. This is the type of change we embrace because we’re in control. All of life seems more vibrant, more interesting – and we feel validated and full of potential.
New cars, new houses, new loves – those don’t come along all that often. So if we want to feel that focus and enjoy that energy, we need to create the change ourselves. Take a quick inventory of your life and see what aspect is in need of a kick in the pants:
- Appearance: Is it time for a new hairstyle? A spa day? Cleaning out your closet and doing a little clothes shopping?
- Career: Are you where you want to be in your job? Do you need extra education to move ahead? What business of your own would you start if you had the resources?
- Living conditions: Are you living in a controlled mess? Is your house due for a de-cluttering? Would a fresh coat of paint liven up your room?
- Health: Are you eating as clean as you could be? Is your weight healthy for your frame? Do you have a fitness goal?
- Social: What worthy cause can you get behind? Can you round up five friends for a monthly night out on the town? Why not plan a theme party for no reason?
- Family: What do your kids need most from you right now? When’s the last time you sent out a family newsletter to all your relatives? Have you ever explored your genealogy?
- Interests: What hobby have you abandoned in the past? Is there a night class you’re interested in taking? Can you teach something to other people?
Anything you take on that moves you out of that comfortable but stagnant zone and into new experiences is good for you, mind, body and soul. What change are you going to make tomorrow?
July 8, 2011
Help me ‘end the trend’ of obesity
Which of these categories do you fall into?
1. Pretty close to optimal weight all my life, never had to worry much about it.
2. Working hard to maintain my optimal weight.
3. Trying hard to get to my optimal weight.
4. Wishing I could lose weight but not succeeding.
If you put yourself in category 3 or 4, you can take charge of your health and change it for the better. There are some very simple, gradual changes you can make to your lifestyle that will gently move you into a healthier way of life you can embrace and feel good about. Every pound shed equals a longer and more enjoyable life for you, and loosens the grip of the massive health care squeeze on our economy.
If you’re a category 2, you know what it takes to make a commitment to health and keep it up. Your success story can inspire others to take the same steps you did and reach their own goals.
Category 1? First, pick up the phone and call your parents to thank them for giving you good DNA. Then, make yourself a promise never to take your good health for granted. Just because you can eat a half-gallon of Ben & Jerry’s and not gain an ounce doesn’t mean you should. Be the model for safe, smart eating and exercise habits.
There’s good news for every category on the list: You have more influence on people around you than you know. Once you decide on a fitness goal for yourself and commit to taking the simple actions that will make that goal happen, you will succeed in not only improving your own life, but your family’s and friends’ lives too. Trust me.
But you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready to change your health, the entire Beachbody coach network is standing by ready to help. Here’s what we can offer:
- Free online fitness and nutrition tips and tools
- Free personal support and motivation
- The most effective and enjoyable DVD workout programs on the market
- Outstanding nutrition supplements including the Shakeology meal replacement shake
- The opportunity to start your own coaching business and share all these resources with others
Order Shakeology on Home Direct during July and you could win this T-shirt!
Everyone can do something to end the trend of obesity. EVERYONE.
Would it help if you won a free T-shirt?
Give Shakeology a try on Home Direct for 30 days. If you’re not satisfied, you can get 100% of your money back. E-mail me for details.
At the end of July, I’ll draw a winner from among all the new Shakeology HD orders during the month. The winner will get an “End the Trend” T-shirt. It’s free sportswear!
(Tip: Order yours a size smaller than you currently wear – just one more incentive to help you reach your goal!)
thehealthymuse 